Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
