dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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