Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
