A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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