they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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