Define "chronic" masturbator.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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