BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize