I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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