called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
