I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
