no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
as a side note pls kill me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
