Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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