How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
