I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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