I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize