I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
...so i touched it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
