I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My life is pants optional.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
