Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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