i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
