need another drink. this is the easiest way
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Too much gin, very little bucket
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
