No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
