the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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