i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
