I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
