I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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