She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
