he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
