Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
