Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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