Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
