I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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