Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
