if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
