I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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