I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
