yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
