You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think your dad took our porno
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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