I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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