i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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