Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
