Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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