No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
