Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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