I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
