you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
