So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
