Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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