At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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