I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
