Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
