the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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