is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
