Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
