why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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