I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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