why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
