tell your sister to shave her snatch
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
