Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
