Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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