I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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