I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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