My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
