a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
