Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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