Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
