it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My boob is missing a layer of skin
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize