Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
