Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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