I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
