yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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